Kae Tempest’s ‘Having Spent Life Seeking’: A Journey of Self-Discovery and Pronoun Evolution
Ten years after his debut novel, the acclaimed poet and musician Kae Tempest returns with ‘Having Spent Life Seeking,’ a deeply personal and unflinchingly honest exploration of self-discovery and a life lived on the edge. Tempest delves into themes of sexuality, gender identity, and the profound strength found in the literature they cherish.
Sitting in a pub near his home, Tempest is accompanied by Murphy, his loyal 14-year-old Alaskan Malamute, whose striking blue eyes hint at a gentle soul. Tempest, sporting a ginger beard, Timberland boots, and a black hoodie, exudes a quiet confidence. His journey, unfolding publicly since his late 20s, has been marked by accolades – Mercury nominations for albums like ‘Let Them Eat Chaos’ and the Ted Hughes Award for ‘Brand New Ancients’ – and a courageous exploration of identity.
Navigating Visibility and Transition
Tempest’s song “I Stand on the Line” from his album ‘Self Titled’ poignantly captures the anxiety of navigating public reaction to his transition, often referred to as a “second puberty.” But Tempest views visibility not as a burden, but as simply his life. “I’m just glad to be alive. How beautiful,” he reflects, acknowledging the past struggles with self-doubt.
His transition has evolved from they/them pronouns to he/him, a journey documented through his art and culminating in a tender moment captured in a BBC Arena documentary, showcasing his top surgery with his partner. This evolution is mirrored in his new novel.
‘Having Spent Life Seeking’: A Novel of Precarious Lives
‘Having Spent Life Seeking’ introduces Rothko, a character returning to their seaside hometown after 15 years in prison. Rothko’s life is shadowed by a chaotic mother battling addiction and a father consumed by anger. Amidst this turmoil, Rothko finds solace in a complex love affair with Dionne, complicated by societal shame surrounding their sexualities and Rothko’s gender identity.
Like Tempest, Rothko embarks on a voyage of self-discovery, with their pronouns shifting throughout the narrative – they/them, and moments of misgendering as she/her. Tempest explains that these shifts are intentional, designed to evoke the disorienting feeling of “missing a step on the stairs.” The novel powerfully portrays the euphoria of claiming one’s identity, culminating in Rothko’s declaration, “I’m a man,” and the subsequent affirmation of he/him pronouns.
The Power of Art and Connection
Tempest, as explored in his book-length essay ‘On Connection,’ believes in the transformative power of art to foster empathy and understanding. He cites influences like Patrick Hamilton’s ‘Hangover Square’ and Leslie Feinberg’s groundbreaking ‘Stone Butch Blues,’ a text that was pivotal in his own journey of self-acceptance. He hopes his novel will resonate with a broad audience, offering recognition and validation to the trans community while also inviting others to connect with Rothko’s universal struggles.
“For sure it’s for us,” Tempest says, referring to the trans community, adding that early readers have responded with “lots of crying because of the recognition.” But he also hopes the book will resonate beyond gender identity, much like ‘For Whom the Bell Tolls.’
A Decade in the Making
’Having Spent Life Seeking’ arrives a decade after Tempest’s first novel, ‘The Bricks That Built the Houses.’ Tempest acknowledges the challenges of novel writing, describing it as a daunting undertaking. The process involved three years of writing, including residencies in Italy and Spain, and a significant amount of editing – one version of the book was twice its final length.
Tempest’s creativity is a lifeline, a source of purpose even amidst personal turmoil. He describes a profound connection to the artistic lineage that supports him, feeling “them charging up through my back” and enabling him to “transmit” that energy to others. He emphasizes the importance of receiving and giving, of finding reconnection through literature and music.
Ultimately, ‘Having Spent Life Seeking’ is a testament to the power of self-expression, the courage to embrace one’s true identity, and the enduring human need for connection. It’s a novel that promises to stay with readers long after they turn the final page.
Order your copy of ‘Having Spent Life Seeking’ from the Guardian Bookshop.
